Friday, June 10, 2011

:: a month without kiki ::

I have been longing to write this post. From a week, then postponed to 2 weeks, then to 3 weeks they were all halfway written. It has been more than a month now and as I'm getting stronger I decided to finish up and publish this entry.

On the second day of May we lost our beloved cat, KiKi. A month passed by with sadness and not a day passed without me not thinking of her in tears. Until today there is still no news on her whereabout. A part of me has started losing hope but another part of me still continues praying for miracle to happen. We have tried our best with putting posters everywhere, placing advertisements and searching keywords on Internet, calling pet shops and even visited SPCA in Ampang and PAWS in Subang. In fact, hubby visited PAWS every week in case KiKi was found anywhere and taken to the shelter but until today every effort is dead end.

Our home feels so empty without our lil sweetheart. I'm badly 'hit' because she was always with me from the moment I opened my eyes in the morning until I closed my eyes at night. KiKi used to sleep with us. She has her own fluffy pink bed and when I was lazy to wake up for work I used to place my hand at her and she will lick it to freshen me up. At night I used to call her to accompany me and while I was surfing the Net, she used to play and then curled inside her bed sleeping next to me. The night before she was taken away, I remember her "calling" both of us to accompany her sleep inside the room. She even waited outside the door, came to me and mieouwed because I was slow. I really miss those moments, in fact I miss every moment we had together because she really cherished our life.

The first two weeks were the hardest of all. We both lost our appetite and being at home or outside didn't feel right at all. Until today we still couldn't eat some of the food we used to eat with her and still couldn't visit some of the places we frequently went with her. Although KiKi has only lived with us for 8 months, her lost impact our life tremendously and I personally feel it is too early to let her go.

I always wish this is just a nightmare. I keep on wondering where KiKi is right now and whether she still remember both of us. Hopefully she is in great condition, healthy, happy and I wish she knows how much we miss her. Yes, I do believe in fate but sometimes I still couldn't help feeling guilty for leaving her because if not, she might still be with us today. It really broke my heart a lot listening to hubby's voice saying "Yang, ada orang ambik KiKi" (honey, someone took KiKi) and that voice tone keeps playing in my head until today. I couldn't describe how devastated I am and how desperate I am to have my KiKi back. Like I always told her before, she is a special cat; the cutest cat with big eyes, pink nose and small mouth. I wish I could bump my nose to hers again, cuddle her in my arm, watch her sleep and have her sitting on my lap while travelling, just like before.

KiKi, mama and papa miss you tremendously and we both love you so much. Thank you for everything. You will always be our cat and you will always be remembered.

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